Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Mama wants one of those blog things

Mama’s Losin’ It

This work of fiction (I hope it's a work of fiction) is inspired by 2.) If my mom were a blogger...

Picture a perfectly competent grandmother who works on computers all day long on the phone with her daughter who has very little patience & doesn't like talking on the phone.

Mama:  Dana, what's that thing you do on the computer that you want me to read all the time?
Dana:  It's called a blog, Mom.
Mama:  Oh.  Okay.  I think I need to do that, too.
Dana:  Why? What do you want to blog about?
Mama:  I don't know. Could I put my paintings on it?
Dana:  Well, yeah.
Mama:  How would I do that?
Dana:  Well, you'd have to take a picture with your digital camera and then..
Mama:  Slow down a minute...let me get a pen and some paper.
Dana:  It's not that hard, Mom.
Mama:  I'm old.  Be a little more patient with me.
Dana:  You're not that old, Mom.


Mama:  Okay. Now, what do I do again?
Dana:  Take a picture of your painting with the digital camera. Download the pictures to your computer and then you can upload them to your blog.
Mom:  Wait a second. How do I download the pictures from the camera.
Dana:  You've done this before, Mom.  It's how you get pictures on Facebook.
Mama:  Oh, okay.  I have those instructions around here somewhere.  Let me see if I can find them.
Dana:  Can't you just look for it later?
Mama:  Well, I want to make sure I haven't lost them.  I haven't put pictures up on Facebook in a long time.  Hold on a minute.
Dana:  GAH!


Mama:  Okay.  I found it.  Right where I'd put it.  Now, will I put the pictures on Facebook first?
Dana:  No, Mom.  You want these pictures on your blog.  I mean, you can load them on Facebook if you want to but you don't need to in order to use them on your blog.
Mama: Okay. Where do I get my blog?
Dana:  Well, you have to create a blog, you don't just "get" one.
Mama:  You know what I mean.
Dana:  Blah. You have several options, Blogger, WordPress, Tumblr, just to name a few.  I use Blogger but a lot of people like WordPress.  I have a Tumblr account, too, and I'm starting to get the hang of that one.  Tumblr might actually be the easiest if you just want to do pictures.  Are you going to write in it like I do with my blog, too?  Or, do you just want to post pictures of your paintings?  Do you want to direct people to the blog to view the paintings if they are interested in buying one?  Like, what's your purpose going to be with the blog?
Mama:  This is confusing.
Dana:  No it's not, Mom, it's just new.  You do far more difficult stuff at work everyday.
Mama:  Well, I don't do THIS at work everyday.
Dana:  Okay.  Whatever.
Mama:  You need to be nicer to your old mother.
Dana:  You're not that old, Mom.
Mama:  I'm old enough.
Dana:  Okay, Mom.  I love you.
Mama:  I guess you're trying to get off the phone with your old mother now, huh?
Dana:  Yep.
Mama:  I love you, too.  Try to be a little more patient with me, please.
Dana: you.  Bye.
Mama: Bye, honey.


I did get permission from my mom to post this because it's a fairly accurate portrayal of any conversation we have ever had that involved computers, cameras, the internet, printers, computer games, social networking, etc.  She was laughing...and then said that she needed me to post some pictures of her paintings to Facebook the next time I come home.  You can't make this stuff up, folks!
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