I was visiting my "bonus" Mama, the mother of my friend, Jessica. She was at the hospital with her own mother who was undergoing a procedure, so I stopped by to see them both.
Later this summer, my bonus Mama is getting married to a wonderful man who has re-entered her life and I haven't seen her this happy in a long time. While we were visiting, we spent a lot if time discussing the upcoming wedding and various things that have been going on in Brunswick.
In walked a tech who was going to start the transfusion to my bonus Nana (not my 90 year old Nana, I know this can get confusing). He was super friendly and chatty and he looked at me then Mama Butts and innocently asked if I was her daughter.
Mama Butts and I both got quiet. I told him that I wasn't her daughter but he had no idea what a compliment he had just given me. While Mama B explained that she lost Jessica many years ago and my friendship with her, the tears just started falling. From me.
It hits me hard sometimes and rarely when I expect it. There is so much joy in my life, in Mama B's life, right now.
So much joy I wish I could share with Jessica.
I visited her tomb on Tuesday after leaving the hospital. I had to. I had to touch something. I needed to physically connect with something that will forever record her life here. I needed grounding.
I do believe in a spiritual life after our corporeal bodies are spent. I do believe that Jessica's spirit, her essence, will be with us at her Mama's wedding.
I just wish I could hug her.