Monday, September 28, 2015

Facing Scylla & Charybdis

I wrote this quite a while ago but balked on publishing it. I'm far enough past the situation that it doesn't feel so raw anymore.


I'm sure most of us have been there.

We've been faced with a decision and neither choice looks good.

We've had to decide to let other people down, let ourselves down, or potentially both.

These decisions may take hours or days but it feels like years are stolen from you. Your stomach hurts. Your head hurts. Worst of all,

your heart hurts.

When you commit to your chosen course of action, you know it's the right one because your head & stomach relax even though your heart doesn't stop hurting.

You know you've let people down who depended on you. You can guess that they feel abandoned and maybe even betrayed or rejected. You know, personally, you've said goodbye to an opportunity you'll never see again.

and it hurts

and you have to remind yourself of why you ultimately made the choice

You look at other important people in your life and you know you didn't let them down. You know your choice made them feel supported and, most of all, valued. You know your choice kept your integrity intact and that, one day,

personal integrity may be all you have left.

You remind yourself that you can be replaced. You can even be replaced by someone more qualified, more competent, more experienced. Ultimately, you are expendable to everyone but yourself.

Life will go on but you have to look at yourself in the mirror every day.

You know, deep down, you only ever had one choice.
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